Today in choir, I had a personal revelation: I am a bad person.
We talked about the meaning of this song we're singing in which the text is exerpt from a Martin Luther King, Jr. speech. It is entitled "If I Can Help Somebody."
Dr. C-land asked us if we'd thought about it, and since I had just earlier before class (and frequently before), I raised my hand. I started talking, not even really knowing what was going to come out of my mouth, and apparently it was moving. But then I stopped and thought about what I'd said, and I realized I'm a huge hypocrite, and it made me sad.
The thing that hurt the most was the memory of something else that had made me feel horrible about myself . . . And it was then that I had realized I'd become exactly the person that I hated with my very being . . . . Why was I the way I was? I was thoroughly ashamed to be me. To be human. To be alive.
Why is it in our nature to do more harm than good, to destroy more than we create? Why are we so corrupted? This world sickens and disheartens me. No one is true to themselves or those around them anymore, and it does naught but get worse as time passes. Why is it we all claim to want peace, love, happiness, and fellowship when everything we do seems to work against these things?
I remembered all that during class when we started singing through the song the second time, and I was honestly on the brink of tears. It sincerely took everything I had to hold it back and still keep singing with all my heart and soul invested in this beautiful music and its most powerful message - even typing this, these emotions come flooding back to me, and I can hardly believe I was able to avoid a breakdown.
I hope everyone who reads this takes it to heart, because it's the most profound and most important entry I've ever had on here. Please endeavour to understand the simple, yet infinitely complex, beauty of love, and strive to keep it alive. When love dies, so does everything that matters in life.
It is a great post, James, and thanks for sharing it. It looks like great music paired with great words has the power to confront us--the power to make us want to be better than what we are. It takes courage to look in that mirror, doesn't it? And it takes more courage to share what we find with our friends. Great example, James.